It's all gone pear-shaped

I have finally done it and have booked the trip to France. I shall be off next week and back sometime in June. It all took a lot of negotiating with the clinic sorting out my mother's blood tests, but at last we are free, ha ha!
It hasn't been a good week generally as I felt disconnected from my source, not able to think clearly and lots of old fears reasserting themselves. I think this is just the tail end of a long winter during which I been holding everything together, trying to manage my mother's health, my health, giving up my work etc, something's got to give. I thought I had it worked out, what I was going to do once the spring was here but it's all gone pear-shaped. I am now looking forward to my break in la Belle France breathing in some mountain air.....but the weather has been unseasonably warm here this last week, today though, back to ye olde british rain.
The ivy in the garden has got out of control and  is threatening to take over, but I can't cut it because there is a pair of blackbirds nesting  in it as well as two robins, by the time I get back it will be like a thicket! I just cannot disturb my little birdies.